Cookies of Hope

What did you have to eat this morning? I had oatmeal with blueberries and soy milk. What about lunch? I made homemade tacos. Dinner? I had chicken with lots of veggies. 

Now what about tomorrow? Or even tonight if you get a little hunger and head to fridge for that midnight snack? Chances are you know where your next meal will come from, or at least have money to pick up something should it strike your fancy. (Sonic chicken strips sound bomb right now btw...)

For 6,200 kids in the world today, the question of where their next meal will come from is no longer important. That is because they are part of a growing statistic of children who die every day from a lack of food. That's a lot of kids who will never grow up to live out their dreams and realize their potential. The world is a sadder place for their loss, we can only imagin what they would have done with their lives.

But worry not my dear blog readers. Despite my former Goth days, (check out my first entry,) this post is not about death. Rather this post is about life and all the good things it has to offer us and how you, yes you, can change the world.


Which leads me to this.............

Looks tasty huh?

Words cannot describe how difficult it is for me to try to focus on writing this entry. To my left sits these nice big, round, chocolate/peanut butter no bake cookies. And I know they would taste AMAZING. Why? Because I made them earlier this afternoon along with the pigs in a blanket in the glass bowl behind them. I've been craving said cookies all day. Especially since I didn't even get to lick the spoon.......

So why? Why do this to myself? Why place these cookie next to my computer at work in plain view when I know I have a bikini to try to squeeze into in a few months? Do I hate myself? Am I crazy? Do I like to torture myself and my soul by putting the one thing I am craving most in arms reach?

The answer to these questions is the same: No. (Well the crazy maybe a little. But it's in the good way.) The cookies and the pigs next to them are part of a fund raiser I am doing for my favorite charity. Every cookie cost 25 cents. The pigs in a blanket 50 cents. But they represent way more than a tasty treat. Each cookie is a meal. A life. A child in need. And hope.

Feed my Starving Children is a wonderful charity located here in Tempe. I was first introduced to them back in 2010 when I was competing in another pageant. Their purpose is simple: to package meals and deliver them to children in over 70 countries around the world who are dying from hunger. They provide the food to pack, volunteers pack the food during 2 hour packing sessions. It's that simple. Heck, over the last two weeks I've helped pack a total of 440 boxes of food. That's a total of 15,840 meals. And I had a blast doing it too. Plus I get to rock an awesome hair net. How sexy is that?

The recipe for hope is really simple.  Vitamins, veggies, soy, and rice. That's it. That's all it takes to give them hope for another day.

And anyone can do it! This picture is one of my favorites of all time. It is a picture of my faith in humanity being restored. These two little girls, 4 and 7, asked their mom to bring them with her to help feed these kids. And you know what? Our group packed an amazing 93 boxes of food in two hours. That is enough to feed 55 kids every day for a year. Earlier today I saw two older ladies and an older man come in with their canes and walkers and sit down while they packed the food.

Now let's get down to the numbers. (What can I say? I'm a future Accountant. I love numbers!)

Each meal they pack - 22 cents
Each Bag (holds 6 meals) - $1.32
Each Box (Holds 32 bags) - $47.52
Cost to Feed a Child for a Year - $80.30

That's it folks. Eighty bucks is all it takes to feed a child for a year. (Parents I know you'd LOVE to feed your kids for a year for 80 bucks!) Eighty dollars to not only keep these kids alive, but give them a chance to go to school. To give them hope. To keep them from becoming just another sad number that you try to ignore when you hear it. Because let's face it, hearing that every day 6,200 children are dying is a painful thing. No one likes to hear that. There's a lot of pain in this world and the natural response is simply close your eyes and press on.

I had someone recently accuse me of not caring about the 19 firefighters who lost their lives in the Yarnell fire this week. That hurt because I actually care a lot. My father is a police officer so I understand the danger all of our first responders face. And I can also understand the heartbreak their families now feel. It's overwhelming. I have to push it out of my mind at times because if I don't, I will just break down and cry because it's so sad.

But there's a difference here. We can't fix the fire. We sadly can't bring back those firefighters and reunite them with their families. But we can feed these children. We can take that 6,200 number and destroy it.

So how can you help? You can give your time and help pack food. You can also donate money to help buy more food to pack. 92% of all the donations they receive goes right back into the feeding program. Don't believe me? Check them out on Charity Navigator (http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=9307)

You can also read more, and sign up to back food on their site www.fmsc.org. If you have any questions feel free to ask.

The moral of the story, we can do this. We can fix this issue. I know this because I've seen it happen. When I started working with them in 2010, over 18,000 children were dying a day. Progress is being made folks. We can keep it up. We can make a difference. We can change the world.

Even if it's one cookie at a time.

An Introduction

It was the sound of the hostel shower that woke me up that morning. We had gotten some new German roommates a few hours earlier and they were less than quiet while settling in. But such was hostel life and a common occurrence in any backpackers life. It didn't really matter as my own jet lag was still pretty bad and I couldn't sleep. So I did the only thing I could. I got up, made coffee, and watched the sun rise over the city of Alicante, Spain. I opened a window leading out onto a tiny balcony that stretched out maybe only a foot to over look the coastal town. I couldn't see the ocean but I could hear it and the lazy call of seagulls in the distance. To my left the 14th century castle was being lite up with God's backdrop of pink and orange clouds. Sipping on that rich dark coffee I watched the sun rise over the red roof tops and tried to grasp the feelings I was having. For the first time in my life I was actually happy. Not only was I happy with my present life, I was actually feeling hopeful for the future. That feeling was even more beautiful than the the sunrise.


Welcome to 5'6" with Heels. My name is Stephanie Scarim and I am a 24 year old college student here in Tempe, AZ. I am many things, but this blog will focus on two main passions in my life; pageantry and helping others.

I started to compete in beauty pageants in 2006 thanks to a little show on MTV called 'MADE'. (I saved you the time of googling it by providing a link to MTV's site (http://www.mtv.com/videos/life-after-made-pageant/1518525/playlist.jhtml#vid=70052) Sadly there are no videos of it online, so spare yourself the time of trying to search for it.)

Throughout all of my middle school and high school years I was bullied and picked on all the time. I was a heavier kid, more interested in baseball than ballet classes. Combined with the fact that my father is a Motorcycle Officer in a VERY small town didn't make me a very popular person. Eventually I found a way to keep people from coming and talking to me was by dressing in all black with as many chains, straps, spikes, and saftey pins as I possibly could find.

But by the time my Senior year came, I was ready for a change. A chance opportunity opened up and I was able to attend an open casting call for the show. Two weeks later I met Elyse (my producer/camera woman) and my life changed forever. 

MTV introduced me to the most important person in my life, Stacey. She was Miss Arizona (MAO) 1997 and 3rd runner up to Miss America. She worked with me almost every day for six weeks to help me shed my Gothic image and embrace the girly-girl side of myself I never really had. I competed in my first pageant that year and walked away with the title of Miss Congeniality. (The first of a total of three =)  After the pageant I had a tearful farewell with Stacey and thought that like so many other important people in my life, she too would just disappear. Thankfully I was wrong. The day after we finished shooting, she called me to see how I was and to assure me that she would always be a part of my life. She came through with that promise in 2008 when my life fell apart.

In March of 2008 my biological mother, Anita, came home early from her job at the county court saying she had just decided to quite due office drama. A few days later our family found out that the reason she left was because she had stolen over $82,000 dollars from her job because of a severe gambling addiction. Over the next few weeks and months we learned that she also stole several thousands of dollars from myself and my father all in an effort to feed that addiction. She was arrested, found guilty of 5 felony charges, and sentenced to 3 1/2 years in federal prison. Her actions tore my family apart and I found myself in the midst of a very deep depression. I don't remember much of that year, but I do remember Stacey. At my worst she was calling me every day to check on me. She let me cry. She let me scream. She let me be scared. She never once tried to rush me to recover. She simply listened to me, loved me, prayed for me, and encouraged me to hold on because she knew it would get better. 

In 2009 I moved from that small town to Tempe, AZ. The next three years would be a very difficult struggle for me. I was still dealing with the depression that nearly ended my life, on top of trying to find employment in the middle of the recession. This lead to me also having an issue keeping a roof over my head. Three times I found myself homeless. At my worst I was sleeping in the backseat of my truck in a Wal*Mart parking lot because I knew that I couldn't return that town. I am if nothing else a very stubborn girl, so I worked myself back from my rock bottom. It has not been easy. It has not always been fun. I have had a lot of help along the way, but I believe I have emerged a better woman for it all and wouldn't change a single thing even if I had a time machine.

In 2010 I was laid off a total of 3 times. I also just ended a long term relationship that by the end was nothing but toxic. I found myself going crazy and in need of doing something drastic to change the direction my life was heading in. My roommate at the time was traveling in Spain and I was talking to him on Facebook about everything going on. At the end of a long rant, I asked him jokingly how the weather in Spain was. His response changed my life. He simply replied "Why don't you come here to find out?"

A week and a half later I found myself touching down in Spain with everything I needed in a backpack. I spent a wonderful two weeks backpacking across Spain with my roommate and met some of the most amazing people. When I came back I decided to skip my connection flight from DC to Phoenix and spent another two weeks in DC and Virgina. By the time I returned home I knew I had changed. I had gotten a taste of the life I deserved. The life I always wanted. And I set out to make that life come true.

Three years later I am happy to say that my life is now everything I could possibly want and need it to be. I have since cut ties with Anita and am a better person for it. Around the same time I cut all the negative people out of my life. It's funny, but when I did suddenly my life got a million times better. I now have a great job, I returned to school and have a 3.75 GPA, met the love of my life, and have started doing my community service projects again. And it all started while drinking my coffee on that tiny balcony in Spain. I had made a conscience decision to get my life together and be happy, and I did. But I knew the price of that would be having to stop doing pageants for awhile until I got myself together. The chaos of my life clouded my mind and my heart and pageants became a chore. I found myself always feeling self-conscience about myself and never living up the standards I felt I should have been at. I knew I needed to stop because if I were to win, I wouldn't be the Queen that title deserved.


Now here I stand, three years later. In November of this year I will be competing at the Miss Arizona USA 2014 pageant in Mesa, AZ. This is the same pageant that I competed in with MTV all those years ago. Words can't even start to describe how excited I am to compete again! Not many people get another chance to chase after their dreams and I am blessed beyond means to have this one. Which brings me to the purpose of this blog....

I have two main goals with this blog:

1) To share my story to others facing similar struggles (or struggles of their own) because YOU ARE
         NOT ALONE!! It does get better, but you have to fight for it. Every day, every action you take,
         you have to fight to regain what you have lost. But once you have you will find such joy,
         relief, and pure peace in knowing that you have overcome everything like a boss! (Promise ;-)

2) To gain support to help make my dream of being Miss Arizona USA 2014 a reality. Just as I wasn't able to overcome my depression alone, I cannot achieve this dream on my own. Nor do I want to.


This blog is one of many places were I can and will promote not only myself, but my platforms, the charities that I work with, and my amazing sponsors. Pageants are not meant to be done alone. Half the fun of doing a pageant is doing all of the amazing work before hand. It's about discovering yourself and making a difference in the world. About meeting new people and creating bonds that will last a life time. (After all, all beauty queens want is world peace right?!) As one titleholder told me, "It's the soul and spirit of the girl that makes her crown shine so bright!"

There will be another post here soon to describe exactly how everything will work (or at least how I hope that they will work!) You can expect updates on my preparation, secrets and tips about how I'm learning to do everything, great community service projects that I'm working on (and you can get involved with as well), and raffles/fundraisers I will be holding to help fund my adventure! However, since it is about 1:30 in the morning I should get some sleep. I would like to leave you with my favorite quote from the Buddha as I feel it describes the next few months for me perfectly:

A butterfly may spend several years traveling to the same flower, 

only to find that it is not the flower that is beautiful, 

but the journey to it.

With that I wish you all a very good night. =)

                                                                                                                      - Stephanie

P.S.
At the end of every post I will be providing this link to my fundraising page. If you would like to help support me in any way possible, simply click on the below link and make a donation. All donations, (no matter how big or small) will be followed up with a thank you note and possibly cookies. ;-)
http://www.gofundme.com/3bsmgg